We are experiencing a crisis of miscommunication/discommunication where we listen to respond and not to hear.
According to the American Psychological Association, 77% of Americans report that the future of our nation as a significant source of stress. As a professional mediator and peace builder, I recognize the urgent need for solutions.
This year my family hosted our annual “Movie Night” during Black History Month to create a safe space for dialogue and explore the root causes of racism and bigotry.
Many Black families celebrate Black History Month by engaging in various activities that honor and learn about the achievements and struggles of Black people, including reading books, watching documentaries, supporting Black-owned businesses, and visiting museums, while also having open conversations about race and identity.
My family’s culture continues to change and grow as other families do; this includes political and economic differences within the family. Each year the family movie night dialogue during the annual event is engaging as we exchange knowledge and ideas; this year some family members questioned the source of information and challenged its validity.
There were a few of us that wanted to watch a throwback movie from 1974 that highlighted economics, welfare system and relationships. Well, this film was not selected. The younger generation wanted to engage in dialogue with a more current movie that represent today’s issues.
Remember the throwback movie from 1974?
Claudine (Diahann Carroll) is a single mother in New York City who endures an exhausting commute to the suburbs where she works as a maid for wealthy families. She meets Roop (James Earl Jones), a charismatic but irresponsible garbage collector. Romance quickly ensues, but Claudine doubts that their relationship is good for her six children, and Rupert, despite his good nature, is reluctant to take on fatherhood.
The movie selection was “Explained” highlighting the disparity in assets of typical households across race and ethnicity. The gap in assets is far wider than disparities in wages across races.
This documentary explores how slavery, housing discrimination, and centuries of inequality in America all helped to create a massive gap between the wealth held between Black and white families in the U.S., a divide that continues to grow today.
This was indeed a spirited dialogue but one that ended with tender embraces as we expressed our love for each other. The movie night committee was complete in its task: planning of the menu; music; movie selection; and most crucial dialogue ground rules. The ground rules had to be repeated as uncle Joe believed his age gave him priority for the entire evening. The process allowed us to achieve our family goals of sharing knowledge and tools, being engaged as participatory citizens, and fostering understanding and cooperation within the family. My college Professor Dr. Robinson (CSULB) often said “Strong individuals make strong families; strong families make strong communities.”
More than ever we must embrace and lean into dialogue – let’s talk about it
Sharon Shelton, MA
Mediator & Peace Builder